Reasons for my Absence

So I haven’t been writing much recently. There have been a number of reasons for this. Some, but not all, of the following are true:

  1. Aliens descended, informed me that if I didn’t have anything better to write than I’d been writing recently, I should stop writing entirely.
  2. Same as #1, but substitute God for aliens.
  3. I’ve been knitting so much that my fingers are curled up in useless claws, and I can’t type; I’d use dictating software, but it keeps shutting down during the pauses in my sentences.
  4. I’d tell you why, but the Department of Homeland Security won’t let me.
  5. I’ve been off having an exciting adventure, and I’m afraid if I write about it, you all will be jealous.
  6. I’m suffering from either a cold, allergies, or both, and I haven’t written about it because I can’t tell which it is; if I’m going to complain to the blogosphere at large, I should know what I’m complaining about.
  7. I’ve given up the computer for Lent.
  8. As opposed to a vow of silence, I’ve taken a vow of non-writing.
  9. I’ve decided that I will only write on sheepskin with handmade ink and a turkey quill. I couldn’t figure out how to shove the finished blog post onto the internet, because my laptop doesn’t have a floppy drive.
  10. A cold or allergies ran over me like a Mac truck, and I haven’t been able to put together coherent thoughts for the last week, so it I was nice and decided not to subject you all to my incoherent thoughts.

Frankly, the real answer is among the least interesting (#10), but I’m hoping to be writing more regularly again.

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